Ships at a
distance have every man's wish on board. For some they come in with the tide.
For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing
until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death
by Time. That is the life of men.
Now, women forget all those
things they don't want to remember, and remember everything they don't want to
forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly.
So the beginning of this was a
woman and she had come back from burying the dead. Not the dead of sick and
ailing with friends at the pillow and the feet. She had come back from the
sodden and the bloated; the sudden dead, their eyes flung wide open in judgment.
The people all saw her come
because it was sundown. The sun was gone, but he had left his footprints in the
sky. It was the time for sitting on porches beside the road. It was the time to
hear things and talk. These sitters had been tongueless, earless, eyeless
conveniences all day long. Mules and other brutes had occupied their skins. But
now, the sun and the bossman were gone, so the skins felt powerful and human.
They became lords of sounds and lesser things. They passed nations through their
mouths. They sat in judgment.
Seeing the woman as she was made
them remember the envy they had stored up from other times. So they chewed up
the back parts of their minds and swallowed with relish. They made burning
statements with questions, and killing tools out of laughs. It was mass cruelty.
A mood come alive. Words walking without masters; walking altogether like
harmony in a song.
"What she doin' coming back
here in dem overhalls? Can't she find no dress to put on? - Where's dat blue
satin dress she left here in? - Where all dat money her husband took and died
and left her? - What dat ole forty year ole 'oman doin' wid her hair swingin'
down her back lak some young gal? - Where she left dat young lad of a boy she
went off here wid? - Thought she was going to marry? - Where he left her? - What
he done wid all her money? - Betcha he off wid some gal so young she ain't even
got no hairs- why she don't stay in her class?"
When she got to where they were
she turned her face on the bander log and spoke. They scrambled a noisy ''good
evenin' " and left their mouths setting open and their ears full of hope.
Her speech was pleasant enough, but she kept walking straight on to her gate.
The porch couldn't talk for looking.
The men noticed her firm buttocks
like she had grape fruits in her hip pockets; the great rope of black hair
swinging to her waist and unraveling in the wind like a plume; then her
pugnacious breasts trying to bore holes in her shirt. They, the men, were saving
with the mind what they lost with the eye. The women took the faded shirt and
muddy overalls and laid them away for remembrance. It was a weapon against her
strength and if it turned out of no significance, still it was a hope that she
might fall to their level some day.
But nobody moved, nobody spoke,
nobody even thought to swallow spit until after her gate slammed behind her.
Pearl Stone opened her mouth and
laughed real hard because she didn't know what else to do. She fell all over
Mrs. Sumpkins while she laughed. Mrs. Sumpkins snorted violently and sucked her
teeth.
"Humph! Y'all let her worry
yuh. You ain't like me. Ah ain't got her to study 'bout. If she ain't got
manners enough to stop and let folks know how she been makin' out, let her g'wan!"
"She ain't even worth talkin'
after," Lulu Moss drawled through her nose. "She sits high, but she
looks low. Dat's what Ah say 'bout dese ole women runnin' after young
boys."
Pheoby Watson hitched her rocking
chair forward before she spoke."Well, nobody don't know if it's anything to
tell or not.Me, Ah'm her best friend, and Ah don't know."
"Maybe us don't know into
things lak you do, but we all knowhow she went 'way from here and us sho seen
her come back. 'Tain'tno use in your tryin' to cloak no ole woman lak Janie
Starks, Pheoby, friend or no friend."
"At dat she ain't so ole as
some of y'all dat's talking."
"She's way past forty to my
knowledge, Pheoby."
''No more'n forty at de
outside."
"She's 'way too old for a
boy like Tea Cake."
''Tea Cake ain't been no boy for
some time. He's round thirty his ownself."
"Don't keer what it was, she
could stop and say a few words with us. She act like we done done something to
her," Pearl Stone complained. "She de one been doin' wrong."
"You mean, you mad 'cause
she didn't stop and tell us all her business. Anyhow, what you ever know her to
do so bad as y'all make out? The worst thing Ah ever knowed her to do was taking
a few years offa her age and dat ain't never harmed nobody. Y'all makes me
tired. De way you talkin' you'd think de folks in dis town didn't do nothin' in
de bed 'cept praise de Lawd. You have to 'scuse me, 'cause Ah'm bound to go take
her some supper. "Pheoby stood up sharply.
"Don't mind us," Lulu
smiled, " just go right ahead, us can mind yo' house for you till you git
back. Mah supper is done. You bettah go see how she feel. You kin let de rest of
us know."
"Lawd," Pearl agreed,
''Ah done scorched-up dat lil meat and bread too long to talk about. Ah kin stay
'way from home long as Ah please. Mah husband ain't fussy."
"Oh, er, Pheoby, if youse
ready to go, Ah could walk over dere wid you," Mrs. Sumpkins volunteered.
"It's sort of duskin' down dark. De booger man might ketch yuh."
"Naw, Ah thank yuh. Nothin'
couldn't ketch me dese few steps Ah'm goin'. Anyhow mah husband tell me say no
first class booger would have me. If she got anything to tell yuh you'll hear
it."
Pheoby hurried on off with a
covered bowl in her hands. She left the porch pelting her back with unasked
questions. They hoped the answers were cruel and strange. When she arrived at
the place, Pheoby Watson didn't go in by the front gate and down the palm walk
to the front door. She walked around the fence corner and went in the intimate
gate with her heaping plate of mulatto rice. Janie must be round that side.
She found her sitting on the
steps of the back porch with the lamps all filled and the chimneys cleaned.
"Hello, Janie, how you comin'?"
"Aw, pretty good, Ah'm tryin'
to soak some uh de tiredness and de dirt outa mah feet.'' She laughed a little.
"Ah see you is. Gal, you sho
looks good. You looks like youse yo' own daughter." They both laughed.
"Even wid dem overhalls on, you shows yo' womanhood."
"G'wan! G'wan! You must
think Ah brought yuh somethin'. WhenA h ain't brought home a thing but mahself."
"Dat's a gracious plenty.
Yo' friends wouldn't want nothin' better."
"Ah takes dat flattery offa
you, Pheoby, 'cause Ah know it's from de heart." Janie extended her hand.
''Good Lawd Pheoby! ain't you never goin' tuh gimme dat lil rations you brought
me? Ah ain't had a thing on mah stomach today exceptin' mah hand. "They
both laughed easily. "Give it here and have a seat."
"Ah knowed you'd be hongry.
No time to be huntin' stove wood after dark. Mah mulatto rice ain't so good dis
time. Not enough bacon grease, but Ah reckon it'll kill hongry."
"Ah'll tell you in a
minute," Janie said, lifting the cover. ''Gal, it's too good! you switches
a mean fanny round in a kitchen."
"Aw, dat ain't much to eat,
Janie. But Ah'm liable to have something sho nuff good tomorrow, 'cause you done
come."
Janie ate heartily and said
nothing. The varicolored cloud dust that the sun had stirred up in the sky was
settling by slow degrees.
"Here, Pheoby, take yo' ole
plate. Ah ain't got a bit of use for a empty dish. Dat grub sho come in
handy."
Pheoby laughed at her friend's
rough joke. "Youse just as crazy as you ever was.
"Hand me dat wash-rag on dat
chair by you, honey. Lemme scrub mah feet." She took the cloth and rubbed
vigorously. Laughter came to her from the big road.
"Well, Ah see Mouth-Almighty
is still sittin' in de sameplace. And Ah reckon they got me up in they mouth
now."
"Yes indeed. You know if you
pass some people and don't speaktuh suit 'em dey got tuh go way back in yo' life
and see whut you ever done. They know mo' 'bout yuh than you do yo' self. An
envious heart makes a treacherous ear. They done 'heard' 'bout you just what
they hope done happened."
"If God don't think no mo'
'bout 'em then Ah do, they's a lost ball in de high grass.''
"Ah hears what they say
'cause they just will collect roundmah porch 'cause it's on de big road. Mah
husband git so sick of 'em sometime he makes 'em all git for home."
"Sam is right too. They just
wearin' out yo' sittin' chairs."
"Yeah, Sam say most of 'em
goes to church so they'll be sureto rise in Judgment. Dat's de day dat every
secret is s'posed to be made known. They wants to be there and hear it
all."
"Sam is too crazy! You can't
stop laughin' when youse round him."
''Uuh hunh. He says he aims to be
there hisself so he can find out who stole his corn-cob pipe."
"Pheoby, dat Sam of your'n
just won't quit! Crazy thing!"
"Most of dese zigaboos is so
het up over yo' business till they liable to hurry theyself to Judgment to find
out about you if they don't soon know. You better make haste and tell 'em 'bout
you and Tea Cake gittin' married, and if he taken all yo' money and went off wid
some young gal, and where at he is now and where at is all yo' clothes dat you
got to come back here in overhalls."
"Ah don't mean to bother wid
tellin' 'em nothin', Pheoby 'Tain't worth de trouble. You can tell 'em what Ah
say if you wants to. Dat's just de same as me 'cause mah tongue is in mah
friend's mouf."
"If you so desire Ah'll tell
'em what you tell me to tell'em."
"To start off wid, people
like dem wastes up too much time puttin' they mouf on things they don't know
nothin' about. Now they got to look into me loving Tea Cake and see whether it
was done right or not! They don't know if life is a mess of corn-meal dumplings,
and if love is a bed-quilt!"
"So long as they get a name
to gnaw on they don't care whose it is, and what about, 'specially if they can
make it sound like evil."
"If they wants to see and
know, why they don't come kiss and be kissed? Ah could then sit down and tell 'em
things. Ah been a delegate to de big 'ssociation of life. Yessuh! De Grand
Lodge, de big convention of livin' is just where Ah been dis year and a half
y'all ain't seen me."
They sat there in the fresh young
darkness close together. Pheoby eager to feel and do through Janie, but hating
to show her zest for fear it might be thought mere curiosity. Janie full of that
oldest human longing- self revelation. Pheoby held her tongue for a long time,
but she couldn't help moving her feet. So Janie spoke.
"They don't need to worry
about me and my overhalls long as Ah still got nine hundred dollars in de bank.
Tea Cake got me into wearing 'em-following behind him. Tea Cake ain't wasted up
no money of mine, and he ain't left me for no young gal, neither. He give me
every consolation in de world. He'd tell 'em so too, if he was here. If he
wasn't gone."
Pheoby dilated all over with
eagerness, "Tea Cake gone?''
"Yeah, Pheoby, Tea Cake is
gone. And dat's de only reason you see me back here - cause Ah ain't got nothing
to make me happy no more where Ah was at. Down in the Everglades there, down on
the muck.''
"It's hard for me to
understand what you mean, de way you tell it. And then again Ah'm hard of
understandin' at times."
''Naw, 'tain't nothin' lak you
might think. So 'tain't no usein me telling you somethin' unless Ah give you de
understandin 'to go 'long wid it. Unless you see de fur, a mink skin ain't no
different from a coon hide. Looka heah, Pheoby, is Sam waitin' on you for his
supper?"
''It's all ready and waitin'. If
he ain't got sense enough to eat it, dat's his hard luck."
"Well then, we can set right
where we is and talk. Ah got the house all opened up to let dis breeze get a
little catchin'.
''Pheoby, we been kissin'-friends
for twenty years, so Ah depend on you for a good thought. And Ah'm talking to
you from dat standpoint."
Time makes everything old so the
kissing, young darkness became a monstropolous old thing while Janie talked.